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Volleyball helps Hopkins setter put tragedy in the past

By Jim Paulsen, Star Tribune, 10/17/16, 9:19PM CDT

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Tara Lee has overcome much in her life to become a standout setter.


Tara Lee (13), a starting setter, is a key member of the Hopkins volleyball team set to begin sections next week. Photo: Richard Tsong-Taatarii, Star Tribune

On the few occasions Hopkins junior setter Tara Lee makes a mistake, a sheepish, almost apologetic grin creeps across her face, an acknowledgment that, for as far as she’s come, there is still growth to come.

The grin then disappears, much more quickly than it spread. No lingering on the past. Time to move forward, on to the next point.

The 5-11 Lee has made herself into one of the metro’s top setters, distributing the ball for the third-ranked team in Class 3A volleyball, which begins the section playoffs next week. She has battled back from a torn hamstring that robbed her of her sophomore season with grit up to her knee pads and a work ethic that would make a construction worker feel guilty.

“I just can’t get over how resilient she is,” Hopkins coach Vicki Seliger Swenson said. “The way she fights through things and stays determined. She’s had her struggles and now she’s playing so well.”

Kind words from Seliger Swenson, who also is her aunt, but certainly not surprising. Showing resiliency and a fighting spirit on the volleyball court are nothing compared to what Lee’s endured to get this far.

Unthinkable tragedy

It was a little more than 10 years ago, on Sept. 22, 2006, when her mother, Teri Lee, and Teri’s boyfriend were killed by a jealous ex-boyfriend while Tara and her three older siblings slept at their home in West Lakeland Township.

“I remember everything about it,” said Tara, who was 6 at the time. “I was sleeping and at first, I thought it was a window slamming. Then [sister] Taylor said we had to get out of there. I remember not wanting to because I just wanted to go back to sleep. But she kept saying, ‘We have to get out, we have to get out.’

“We went out in the hall and at one point, we saw him standing there down the hall and thought he might kill us, too, but he didn’t. We ran outside looking for my brothers, but we couldn’t find them. Someone found them hiding in a closet. I remember going to a neighbor’s house, and we were sitting in their basement watching a movie with their kids when someone came and told us what happened. The funny thing is, one thing I can’t remember is what movie it was. No matter how hard I try.”

The Lees’ father, Ty, had died in a car accident in 2001. With both parents gone, the four Lee children were taken in by the Swensons — Vicki, who was Teri’s younger sister, and husband Erik and their three kids — and raised them as part of their own family.

“Erik and I were the only logical option,” Seliger Swenson said. “We didn’t hesitate at all.”

Melding two families, particularly one torn apart by violence, wasn’t easy, she said. They were determined to make sure they allowed the Lee children the space to be themselves while also giving them the structure and security of a stable family home.

“We were always close to them, but being under the same roof came with challenges,” Seliger Swenson said. “I don’t know that any of us have been perfect, and we all have battle scars, but our goal was always to have the best possible outcome.”

Through it all, volleyball

Teri and Vicki Seliger had been star volleyball players at Tartan. Vicki went on to a collegiate career at Iowa State before settling into a coaching career. Her daughter Samantha, a former high school All-America and Star Tribune Metro Player of the Year, is starring for the Gophers.

With such a family history, there was no doubt that volleyball would have an impact on Tara Lee’s life. How much, no one could have anticipated.

“Volleyball has been huge,” Lee said. “The volleyball court is a place where I can forget about everything and just play. I don’t know what I’d do without volleyball. It’s the most important thing in my life.”

Which is why missing her entire sophomore year, along with a significant portion of the Junior Olympic club season, was so frustrating. And why she made a pact with herself to become the best player she could be when she returned from her injury.

“That was so hard, not being able to play,” Lee said. “I didn’t realize how important it was.”

Lee’s renewed dedication to the sport has not gone unnoticed, even by opponents.

“I don’t know her, but I’ve always admired her and what she’s gone through to become the player she is,” Minnetonka senior setter Isabel Aragon Menzel said. “She works so hard. You can see how much better she is this year.”

Skippers coach Karl Katzenberger just shakes his head when asked about what Lee has accomplished on the court.

“It’s amazing what she’s gone through and that she’s come out a well-adjusted, social person outside of volleyball,” Katzenberger said. “And with all of that, she’s become a really good setter. Put it this way: We wouldn’t mind if she was graduating this year, and we didn’t have to play her again.”

Hopkins teammate Chudear Tut, a freshman middle hitter, said she has never told this to Lee before, but she holds her in high esteem for a very personal reason.

“I lost my mother too, in a bad car accident in Iowa when I was 9,” Tut said. “I look at her and see how she handles things. When I’m down or things aren’t going well, she’ll come up and shake my shoulders and get me to laugh and relax. It helps me to see how she’s dealt with it.”

Best of all, college volleyball programs have come calling. Lee spent 15 minutes after a recent match talking to a recruiter before dashing off to indulge in some rapidly disappearing Senior Night cake.

Fewer bad days

There are still bad days, Lee said, but fewer of them. Last Sept. 22 was one of those days.

“I was in passing time after first block and I just started crying,” she said. “I couldn’t stop. I had to go to [my uncle] Erik’s office and he let me stay there. I couldn’t go to class.”

Lee says she and her siblings still talk every day, despite no longer living under the same roof.

“We need to,” she said. “We all are so close to each other. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

And then there’s the Swensons. Her voice gets quieter when she talks about what they’ve meant to her.

“I don’t know if us Lee kids would have been able to stay together without them,” she said. “They’ve done so much for me and my sister and brothers. I owe them so much.”

Interview done, Lee stands up and calls to teammate Anna Erickson, one of the few Royals players still hanging around Hopkins’ Lindbergh Center.

“Hey, Anna, why are you still here? Are you leaving now? You’re my ride.”

She bounds over to Erickson and together they exit the gym laughing, like they didn’t have a care in the world.

No. 13 over the years

The uniform number 13 holds meaning for the family of Hopkins setter Tara Lee.

• Her mother, Teri, wore No. 13 when she competed in high school at Tartan.

• Vicki, Teri’s younger sister and the current Hopkins coach, wore No. 11 at Tartan until Teri graduated, then switched to 13. She also wore No. 13 at Iowa State from 1988 to 1992.

• Samantha Seliger-Swenson, Vicki’s daughter, wore No. 13 while a setter at Hopkins. Now playing for the Gophers, she wears No. 11 (teammate Molly Lohman has No. 13) but expects to change to No. 13 when it becomes available.

• Tara Lee currently wears No. 13 for Hopkins.

• “It’s always been a significant number for us,” Vicki Seliger Swenson said.

Jim Paulsen

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